Practical Ways to Include Self Care in 2023
Happy New Year, y’all!! I hope that your celebrations were safe and sound, surrounded by good food good family, good friends full of laughter. Mine was very joyful, very inebriated and full of seafood 🦞.
To be honest, this is one of my least favorite times of the year. Seasonal depression is a bitch during the holidays. Especially when you’re supposed to be this jolly, happy soul. Super hard to be that way when it’s gray and cold out all the time. And then when I finally start feeling the holiday spirit… its already come and gone, and I get to experience the same thing all over again next year.
Ugh… I mean…yay! 😀
But funnily enough, going into this year, I'm feeling renewed. There's a sense of peace. I have a really good feeling that this year is going to be amazing, and I think it's partially because I've taken some extra steps to love on myself a little bit more as we are transitioning into 2023. So today I wanted to share some of the practical things I’m doing for myself as self care to bring in the new year.
But first, a disclaimer! ⚠️
Now, when I use the words "self care" I don't necessarily mean a bubble baths, wine nights, face masks, juice cleanses, shoe shopping, catching flights, not feelings, eating that whole vat of ice cream, watching Gilmore Girls all day… for the 50th time etc. Most of those things which involve getting dopamine hits from a very temporary actions or purchases which may feel good in the short term, but are they really good for you in the long term??? I can’t answer that per say. I realize that feeling renewed and happy and joyful is going to look differently for everyone either physically, mentally, spiritually socially, economically, etc.
But what I can say is that self care for me in its healthiest of forms is responsibility to yourself to reset and seek the sense of happiness and comfort and safety as you're living your life. Self care is not only just some luxury, only some or the wealthy can afford or for any of us to do sparingly. If we leave our definitions of self care that's to only indulge or to “treat yourself”, or even using it as a means to do what is easiest in the moment (ie. skipping out on that lunch date with your friends or not tending to your finances. in a timely manner.) These accumulating actions and choices goad us to slip even further into these unhealthy habits and cycles.
And I don't want that for you! You need to take care of yourself, you know, you'll...die.
So instead of that, let’s begin exploring my self care practices for 2023:
Walking for 30min everyday to replace my strength training regimen (for now).
As much as I like to think that exercise is important. I really like moving my body and being fit…
I don't like to work out y'all! I fucking HATE IT!
My favorite pastime is cursing out the instructor as I'm doing the virtual workouts and then I realized this is a virtual workout…they cannot hear me! How dare they! So instead of completely saying screw it. I had to ask myself “what is the smallest things I can do to get myself moving and active every day that is not going to kill me?”
Considering that I am an able-bodied person, I have the privilege to get around from place to place using my amazing two legs and walking is very enjoyable, sometimes mindless even. I can multitask while I am doing it. I can watch anime for 30-40 minutes while I’m walking the circumference of my living room and kitchen… That’s perfect!
Studies have shown for years some type of movement outside everyday for at least 30 minutes encourages the brain to release endorphins. Now, if you don’t know what endorphins are, don’t worry. They are a in the simplest of terms, a neurotransmitter that is released in our body to boost our mental health, helps you burn more calories, and actually enhances your physical mobility as you age.
Now walking is good and all, but… what if this commitment is a little too much? Well, that is totally okay! And I hope with time and patience you'll be able to find the different types of sports exercises or whatever type of movement active regimen that will help you feel good and strong in your own body. I would also suggest that if you can getting more sunlight during the day this will increase your brain's production of serotonin helps decrease blood pressure and just overall makes you feel a lot better.
2. Drinking waaaaaayyyyy more water
I don't drink as much tap water anymore. In fact, I would say about 90% of the water I consume now is mineral or sparkling water. Y’know, the kind with the bubbles and no sugar (please, sponsor me Perrier). So even though I have a another way to consume water, after observing how much I drank during the day, I realize as I was definitely drinking less than I should be…oops.
So now with these things in mind, I'll be doing my best to be more aware of when I should be drinking a little bit more water instead of defaulting to having a snack whenever I'm thinking that I'm feeling hungry. Now, I'm not going to be telling you outright that you should be guzzling down more water because this is a habit even I struggle with. If drinking more water is something that you're working towards right now, maybe taking more smaller sips of water as you're eating will help you ease digestion as well as get more those fluids in that you need.
3. Solo Dates are the BEST dates!
This is another thing that I've actually done for years and didn't realize that people just do not do this. When I was single, every Sunday I would walk to the movie theater near my apartment, usually I would stay there for a few hours, catch a few flicks, drink some wine, eat some popcorn and laugh my jolly, drunk ass off as I mosey to a bar to eat and go home. That shit was always the most fun I had with myself, and nary a man in sight!
The reason why I take myself on solo dates (EVEN NOW that I am in a happy relationship) is because it gives me the freedom and confidence to experience things that I want to without having to rely on my partner or friends to go with me. It doesn’t have to be this big solo trip across the world to be a solo date (and I love traveling alone). It could literally be to that new bar around the way from your house or for a walk in the park! Discover (or rediscover) the things you like to do as a hobby (or get a new one), and do it without your partner and see how many new people, places and things you discover. It’s always nice to have your own thing and miss your partner a little, right?
Even as a parent or guardian (disclaimer: I am NEITHER of those things) some extra time to yourself might be the best way to give yourself some extra love.
4. Scheduling an Admin Day
I know I’m not the only one that has an ever-growing to do list and as a one of millions, some of these items get buried… deep… Like VERY DEEP within the confines of a notebook or calendar, or even the couch.
Some shit just doesn’t get done. And that’s okay! We’re human! However, let’s make sure we can mitigate at least *some* of these tasks by scheduling an admin day for yourself to acknowledge them. Stuff like looking over your finances, finally doing your taxes, cleaning your house, calling your mother, donating old clothes, making that doctor's appointment so you can check that mole (you know what I'm talking about).
I’ll be scheduling admin days a lot more frequently. My goal is to schedule a few hours every Sunday to play catch-up. However, I understand how getting away to do petty tasks for a few hours is not always in the cards for people. The most important thing is to determine what special something or a couple of things that can be done in 10,20 minutes or even a whole hour if you have a chance. You can register to vote in less time! And to make things easier on yourself while trying to carve out that special admin time, do yourself a favor and use whatever means or tools that are necessary to make your life simpler.
You could even grab a couple of friends make it a whole admin day co-working party!
5. Giving more gifts
Giving me gifts (especially food) will always put me in a good mood. There is nothing more exhilarating than the anticipation of actually giving a gift to somebody that you know for a fact that they will love it! So if you are fiscally able to, even if it’s small, bring someone that joy. It would mean a lot to the people around you to know that you’re thinking of them.
I know what you’re thinking: “gift giving is EXPENSIVE!“
Fucking MAKE A GIFT for christ’s sake! People love crafts! Draw a picture! Make something out of clay or bring someone flowers! I know you owe someone flowers for something!
Also, I don't know if anybody, like, just doesn't consider compliments as a gift. But considering it is very easy and free, you could be giving the world a whole lot more joy (especially to people who aren’t feeling their best) if you decided to open your mouth and tell someone they look nice in their shirt today.
There, see? That took NO EFFORT. You didn’t even have to pull out your wallet.
6. Using grounding techniques more often. Not just in a crisis
For all my therapy-going readers, I know for a fact y’all don’t use your coping techniques as much as you should. I know becuase I don’t do it either.
My therapist specifically told me that when I feel an anxiety attack coming on, I should let myself schedule some “worry time“, where in that time slot only is when I get to boohoo about how the world is coming to an end. But here I am, writing this blog post instead of crying in my worry corner during my worry time… O.M.G. I am gonna feel this tomorrow…
We have the tools in our toolbelt given specially to us by our health care providers becuase they know how we get in our spirals. So why don’t we take their advice a step further and make sure we get in the practice of using them more often before we panic?
For me, personally, it’s because I’m hard-headed and I like talking to my therapist waaaaaaayyyy too much. I act like she’s my friend… Like girl, you are PAYING HER to complain about life. That’s not how friendships are supposed to work.
Anyway, I think I need to be more honest and forgiving of myself when I feel a sense of panic coming on and the only way to do that is to keep making these practices a habit. For instance, I really enjoy using the analysis of the 5 senses to ground myself before I get to focus on work. I do this by point out 5 things for each sense that I’m experiencing around me.
For example: I’m touching this keyboard, Im smelling and tasting the mint gum in my mouth, my seeing the words I type, I hear the keyboard clicking… etc.
I’m not saying that affirmations and journaling and compliments are exactly the things you need to do to feel grounded (even though they work VERY WELL), it may not be your style and preference.
So instead, why not choose a song that helps you feel more grounded? For me, whenever these other grounding techniques don’t do the trick in the moment I turn on the Final Fantasy X Original Soundtrack and that gets me grounded and focused faster than anything. Music is magical!
7. Using the 2 (or 5?) minute rule to get focused & the 2 day rule for momentum
In no way does this work every time for me, but when I use the 2 minute rule to physically touch the work I’m avoiding, I’m more inspired to try and finish that work after I have started (thanks, Matt D’Avella). I can take this even further with building and stacking habits with the 2 day rule. Essentially I'm devoting myself to only skip one day of that specific habit consecutively, so that way if I need to skip a workout on Tuesday because the Monday workout was rough, I know I need to get right back at it on Wednesday. That way I get the rest I need, while also not losing my momentum. Gamifying it makes even more of a difference! I use a printed calendar to check off the days I complete a specific task. It makes me feel accomplished when I see all the progress that I’ve made!
And finally…
8. Reducing the consumption of self improvement content
I don’t know about you. But I am TIRED of not reading fast enough, taking notes efficient enough, not remember everything I’ve read enough…
Basically not being enhanced enough in my productivity performance. Which is exactly what it is sometimes… a performance. As much fun as it can be to get better at things. To get better for the sake of an outside source telling you that you aren’t reading enough or happy enough or dating efficiently enough, it makes me question what exactly I’m doing thats enough for me. And the answer is… everything. Because I took the time to make the adjustments in my life that work for me. And now that I’ve healed and moved on from trauma or got rid of a nasty habit, I can find other things to enjoy about my life if I want to (or not, bacause that is your choice). Stop taking in all this outside knowledge about how you’re not good enough because the productivity bros on youtube said so. they don’t even follow their own scripture to the letter! they don’t have to, mostly because they PAY people to do all that for them! And if you’re not doing all of this improvement for you, then you’ll never be validated or good enough as you are, even if you have grown and progressed all this way.
I don’t want to feel jealous or angry about the goals I’m not hitting anymore, so instead of talking about how I’m not good enough, I’m going to follow my jealousies, and try to do something with that motivation that makes me happy in the process. If that means I gotta mute a few people to do that, so be it!
2023 is my year! And dammit I’m gonna have a good ass year! And so far. I’m having a blast. We’ll see what the rest of the year brings, but for now, I’ll stick with these practices until they don’t fulfill me anymore and I’ll experiment with something else.
And when something changes, I’ll be sure to write up my findings here!
See you around!
Sidney
NOTE: And make sure to check out the video/audio version of this post on my channel linked here!
